perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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