don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
