Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
