So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
