Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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