Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
