i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
