i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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