Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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