I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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