please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
