This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
