i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
