Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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