how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
