I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize