I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
