I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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