I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
