all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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