honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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