Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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