he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
