There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
