winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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