i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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