Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
