you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
