On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Randomize
