Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize