the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
