there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dicks are not precious.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
