Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
