they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
