This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
