Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
