Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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