What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
