In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
