it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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