so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
