I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
