No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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