wrigley field is MILF paradise
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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