Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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