I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
