I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
