I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
