I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize