Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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