My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
