I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize