I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
