she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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