was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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