i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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