i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize