There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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