I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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