I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
