Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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