i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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