finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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