theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize