I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
