youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
