who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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